Many have gone through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to conceive a child. For those who have experienced it, infertility can be difficult and emotionally taxing. But when it is successful, the struggle becomes worthwhile as it brings a precious baby into our lives. As parents, we understand the love and happiness our children bring to our lives. Have you ever considered that you could extend that gift to others through the incredible process of embryo donation? 

What is Embryo Donation?

Embryo donation is a beautiful way for those who have undergone IVF and have remaining embryos to offer them to individuals or couples experiencing infertility. These embryos, often referred to as "snowflake babies," are generously gifted to recipients who are unable to conceive using their own eggs or sperm.

The Options: Closed, Semi-Open, and Open Embryo Donation

Embryo donation offers different options in terms of the level of contact and communication between donors and recipients: closed, semi-open, and open embryo donation.

1. Closed Embryo Donation: In a closed donation, the identities of both the donors and recipients remain confidential. No direct contact is established between the two parties. The donor couple usually provides limited medical and genetic information to ensure the well-being of the potential child. This option is suitable for those who prefer anonymity and a clear separation between the parties involved.

2. Semi-Open Embryo Donation: Semi-open donation allows for some level of communication and information sharing between the donors and recipients while maintaining privacy. The degree of openness is agreed upon by both parties, typically involving the exchange of medical and genetic information. Communication might occur through a mediator or agency, ensuring that personal details remain protected. This option allows for some connection and the possibility of updates, while still respecting the desire for privacy.

3. Open Embryo Donation: Open donation involves a higher level of contact and ongoing relationship between the donors and recipients. It allows for direct communication, potential meetings, and sharing experiences throughout the pregnancy and beyond. Open donation often includes the exchange of identifying information and allows both families to develop a more personal connection. This option is beneficial for those who desire a deeper connection and the potential for an extended relationship between the donor and recipient families.

The Story From An Embryo Donor:

We had our second child through IVF, and with two children, our family is complete. But we had one remaining embryo unused, and we kept it frozen with our fertility coverage for 3 years. We knew our family was complete with 2 children and a dog, but we were also uncomfortable with the idea of destroying the embryo. We thought about how at one point, we had 2 embryos to select from, and our daughter was chosen to be transferred by the clinic (because we didn’t want to make that decision). Our sweet little girl was once an embryo—and the idea that she may have been the one to not be selected by our clinic and have been destroyed ––that didn’t sit well with us. And donating the embryo to science is also destroying it. So when our embryo storage benefits expired, we made the decision to explore embryo donation. 

I contacted our fertility clinic and they recommended some matching services. We ultimately went with the National Registry for Adoption (NRFA) at https://nrfa.org/ because it’s free, easy, and not affiliated with any religion. I made a profile as a donor, included pictures of our family and described ourselves and what we are looking for in a recipient family and in an embryo adoption. I thought I wanted a semi-open adoption, but this quickly changed to wanting an open adoption as we went through the process. We made a profile last April. We wanted a happy and loving family, above all else. But then we also realized that we did have some additional requirements. We didn’t care about religion or political affiliation, but soon realized that there were characteristics about a potential family that we cared about that might be associated with those things: we were looking for a family that is pro-science (because having a healthy child who gets all recommended childhood vaccines is important to us); we wanted this child to grow up in a home without guns around; and for the family to be accepting if the child grows up to be LGBT, as a few examples. Soon, we had a few families message us in our inbox. I spoke with three of them. One was a no-go. The other two seemed great. I didn’t want to belabor this process and drag it out. These two families met my requirements: they were happy and loving; they were accepting of all types of people and would keep this child healthy and safe. No need to keep looking. So I scheduled Zoom calls with both families with my husband. My husband and I both agreed on our top choice, and we notified them right away. I have to say—the joy and tears from that couple when we told them that we chose them will always be with me. It doesn’t get better than that. We were making their dreams come true. We also realized that we like them and want to keep them in our lives, and we want an open embryo adoption. We want to be along for the ride every step of the way. I kept reading blogs from other embryo donation families about how their families are very close, they vacation together, they keep in touch, and their biologically-related children are in each other's lives. We wanted that. This family wanted that, too. This was still April 2022, and we just made our profile on NRFA just weeks before. The family wanted to move quickly and were targeting a transfer date of August 2022. They live far away, and they wanted to fly out to meet us and do the transfer here at our clinic. There were some steps we had to do to make this happen quickly. We needed a contract. Luckily, NFRA has a low-cost legal service, and we worked with them to get one drawn up fast. My husband and I needed to get a special physical exam at our clinic. And our clinic required counseling to make sure that we would be emotionally ok with this process. Check, check, check. We got all that done in a matter of weeks. As donors, there is no cost to us, and the recipients picked up all of these costs. 

The family flew out here last August and they were lovely. They had a young child already who was their “miracle baby” and they made it clear that they would not be able to make another child themselves. Nor did they want to try. They came to our home for dinner, our kids played, and we bonded. During their stay, they did the embryo transfer at our clinic. A few days later, we took the kids to Happy Hollow for some fun. Our kids bonded so well with their child. The mom felt nauseous. I knew she was pregnant. She looked like a newly-pregnant woman. She was glowing and nauseous. It was pretty obvious to me. A few days later, they confirmed with a positive pregnancy test. We were all thrilled. They flew back home, and the mom and I have been in touch, texting each other regularly. The poor woman–she had a rough pregnancy. She was on bedrest for weeks. She had awful morning sickness. She went through all the pain that many moms have to endure to have a child. We told close family and friends. They asked “Does it feel weird to have your biological child out there?” No. It didn’t. It really didn’t. I felt joy and pride. I felt so happy that we could help provide life for this child who would have otherwise been destroyed, and to make a family’s dreams come true. This mom was the one who was going through all the pregnancy pains. She was the one throwing up, she was the one who couldn't sleep at night; she was the one who was on bedrest. We told our kids and our families. Our younger child has no idea what we’re talking about, our older child understands. She was weirded out by it. We didn’t want to push it, but said we are here to talk or answer questions. My daughter warmed up to the idea over time. 

Months passed by and one early morning I got a text that the baby was born. She sent a photo. I cried. I got all my emotions out. Got that over with. The child looks like my older child as a newborn. That is a strange feeling. But I got my feelings out, I was done with that. I shared the photos with my family. My older child agreed that this baby looks like her, and said the baby is cute. My daughter didn’t seem weirded out by it anymore. That was a relief. I have been in constant touch with the family. We see pictures, answer questions about health and how our children were as babies. People ask if I feel weird, if I feel like our child is “out there.” I do not. I don’t feel weird at all. I see in their photos how much they love their baby, how their older child is such a great older sibling. How this baby is so wanted and surrounded by love. How this family flew thousands of miles to get their baby to complete their family. It's his mother who is breastfeeding him; his parents who are up all night with their newborn; his parents who are taking care of him and love him; his older sibling who is enjoying welcoming a little brother to their family. This family is going through the exhausting newborn motions while I sit comfortably, well-rested, thousands of miles away getting text updates, enjoying life with my kids and husband. This is THEIR child. We are lucky to have played a role in bringing him to his parents. I remind myself: there is no limit to the amount of people who can love this child. Our journey has just begun. I am pleased with the close relationship I have developed with the recipient mom. I look forward to getting our families together, building our bond as a unique extended family; big family vacations and moments, and having our kids develop their special relationship with their biological brother. 

The Story From An Embryo Recipient:

The beginning of our story probably will sound familiar to many. We decided that we were ready to expand our family and started trying the old fashioned way. When that didn't work, we went to the doctor for next steps and went through years of increasingly expensive and invasive medical treatments. When we finally bit the bullet and did IVF, we figured that despite the pain and expense, at least it would work. Until it didn't. After several IVF rounds across multiple clinics, no one could explain why our embryos weren't surviving to a point where they could be transferred. We were devastated and started looking into options: egg/sperm donation, domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption, international adoption, and something that we hadn't heard of before - embryo donation/adoption. Our doctor recommended that we try some A/B testing with my eggs and my husband's sperm vs donor sperm to figure out whose gametes were causing the issue, but after doing a lot of soul searching and research, we decided to look into embryo adoption first.

We knew that we wanted an open relationship with the donors so that our future child or children would have access to ongoing medical history updates and be able to have a relationship with their genetic relatives. We wanted donors who looked similar to us, had similar values, personalities and interests, and ideally who were donating a batch of embryos so we could have genetically related children. In our ideal world, our families would become good friends and do things like vacation together. We decided against the religiously affiliated (and often expensive) agencies. I signed up for a Facebook group where families interested in either side of embryo adoption can learn more and connect, but none of the available profiles seemed like a good fit for us. I decided to look through some public listings on a website called miracles waiting, and one of the first listings that I saw sounded like it was written by us, had our IVF journey been successful. I signed up for an account and sent an email. The donor mom and I exchanged several, increasingly long emails and we set up a video call so that both couples could "meet". They agreed on the spot to donate all of their remaining embryos to us, and we started the process of drawing up legal agreements, doing the counseling that the clinic required (and that I also highly recommend to anyone considering embryo adoption), and taking legal possession of the embryos. 

A few months after that initial email, we flew out to meet the donors and their kids in person and transfer the first embryo. That little cluster of cells implanted, grew, and became the most amazing, curious, sweet, and silly kid that we are so grateful to be raising. Another embryo from the same cohort is due later this summer, and we can't wait to meet them! We have also become very close friends with the donors. We text and send photos and videos all of the time, celebrating parenting wins, bemoaning the inevitable challenges, and enjoying getting to know each other and our wonderful kids! Because of COVID and living far away from each other we didn't have as many in person visits as we would have preferred over the first few years, but the kids finally met last fall. It was so much fun getting to know the donors' kids better and seeing them all play together and bond. We're looking forward to seeing them again soon!

Embryo donation is an amazing gift. It allowed us the opportunity to become parents and gave us a new extended family that we love dearly. We are eternally grateful to our donors for giving us the most amazing gift ever.

To all the parents out there who have gone through IVF and have remaining embryos, consider the incredible gift of embryo donation. By donating your embryos, you can give the precious gift of life to another family and experience the joy of completing your own journey.

For those struggling with infertility, embryo donation opens a door of hope and the chance to build the family you've always dreamed of. Embryo donation is a remarkable act of love, compassion, and generosity. It has the power to bring miracles into the lives of those who long for a child. 

This article was kindly written and submitted by a San Mateo Parents Club member.

The Wizard of Oz - San Francisco, June 1-25

Fun Friday Bubble Show - Palo Alto, June 2

City Center Unplugged - San Ramon, June 2, 9, 16, 23, 30

Kids' Movie Friday - San Francisco, June 2

Jurassic Quest – Pleasanton, June 2-4

San Mateo County Fair - San Mateo, June 3-11

Proud of My Family – San Jose, June 3

Children’s Book Festival at Fairyland – Oakland, June 3

Habitot Mobile Museum – Livermore, June 3

Family Fun Day at Asian Art Museum – San Francisco, June 4

Cultural Festival – Hercules, June 4

Cal Sailing Open House – Berkeley, June 4

Butterfly and Bird Festival – Fremont, June 4

Storytime with Anna – Palo Alto, June 4

Free First Sunday at NUMU – Los Gatos, June 4

Family Day at Marin MOCA – Novato, June 4

Fur, Scales, and Tails Animal Show – Berkeley, June 5

Filoli’s Pride Celebration – Woodside, June 3-4

Kid Makers: Juneteenth – Redwood City, June 3

Redwood Mountain Faire - Felton, June 3-4

Mendocino Film Festival Free Family Film: Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown - Fort Bragg, June 3-4

San Leandro Cherry Festival - San Leandro, June 3

Los Gatos Music & Arts - Los Gatos, June

Veterinary Hospital Tours - Oakland Zoo, June 3, 7, 10, 14, 17, 21, 24, 28

River Fest - San Francisco, June 4

Redwood Mountain Faire – Felton, June 4

23rd Annual Butterfly & Bird Festival – Fremont, June 4

Regal Summer Movie Express - San Francisco, June 6-7, 13-14, 20-21,27-28

Family Art Making at de Young – San Francisco, June 10

Sand Castle and Sculpture Contest – Alameda, June 10

Non Stop Bhangra – Berkeley, June 10

Roundtable Reading at BAMPFA – Berkeley, June 10

Family Fun Day – Oakland, June 10

Kid Makers: Pop Up Chemistry – Redwood City, June 10

Second Saturday at Gamble Garden – Palo Alto, June 10

Kristi Yamaguchi’s Family Literacy Festival – San Jose, June 10

Niles Canyon Train Ride – Sunol, June 10, 11, 17, 18

Summer Learning Challenge Kick-off Celebration - Burlingame, June 10

West Coast Craft Show -  San Francisco, June 10-11

Golden Gate Bandshell Concerts - San Francisco, June 10

Kids Art Class at Magical Bridge Playground - Redwood City, June 10

Children's Day with Ukrainian Cuisine and Handcrafted Art at Magical Bridge – Palo Alto, June 11

Viva CalleSJ Open Streets – San Jose, June 11

Jam Concert – San Francisco, June 11

Habitot Mobile Museum – Orinda, June 11

Kids Rock! – Redwood City, June 11

Marine Science Sunday – Sausalito, June 11, 25

JAM with Charity – Sausalito, June 12

Alphabet Rockers Performance – San Francisco, June 12

JAM with Charity – Mountain View, June 13

Happy Birds Performance at Hiller Aviation Museum – San Carlos, June 14
Kidchella – Danville, June 14

Snow White by Palo Alto Children’s Theater – Palo Alto, June 14-25

Solano County Fair – Vallejo, June 15-18

Ka-Hon Kids Show – San Francisco

Summer Sleepovers at Children’s Fairyland – Oakland, June 16

Alameda County Fair – Pleasanton, June 16 – July 9

Biggest Little Airshow – San Carlos, June 17

Bubbly Birthday Bash – Santa Rosa, June 17

Freedom Festival – Mill Valley, June 17

Kidstock with Lori & RJ – Mountain View, June 17

Juneteenth Festival – Los Altos, June 17

Movies at the Green: Wakanda Forever – Rohnert Park

Juneteenth Celebration – Santa Cruz, June 17

North Beach Festival – San Francisco, June 17-18

Father’s Day Brew Train – Felton, June 18

Open Cockpit Day – Oakland, June 18

Oakland A’s Kids Cheer Free – Oakland, June 18

Festa Junina – Berkeley, June 18

Immigrant Heritage Month Celebration – San Jose, June 18

Storytime Science for Kids at the Exploratorium – San Francisco, June 18, 24, 25

Live Music - Santa Cruz, June 15

Summer Concert - Los Altos, June 15, 22, 29

Summer Concert Cupertino Symphonic Band - Cupertino, June 15

Music in the Park - San Carlos, June 16

Brick Fest Live - San Jose, June 16

Father's Day Special Event - Fremont, June 17

Movies at the Green: Wakanda Forever – Sonoma

North Beach Festival – San Francisco, June 17

"The Secret Garden" Family-Friendly Circus-Theater Show - San Francisco, June 17-18, 24-25

Pride in the Park - San Carlos, June 17

Stern Grove Festival - San Francisco, June 18, 25

Father’s Day - Santa Rosa, June 18

Juneteenth Community Celebration – San Jose, June 19

Family Fun Nights – Burlingame, June 20, 27

Sonoma-Marin Fair, - Petaluma, June  20-25

Stafford Park - Redwood City, June 21

Circus Bella’s Bananas – San Francisco, June 23-24

Family Art Making at de Young – San Francisco, June 24

San Francisco Amateur Astronomers’ Star Parties – San Francisco, June 24

Teen Night at the Museum – Santa Rosa, June 24

Lakefest Oakland – Oakland, June 24

Fiesta Cultural Street Fair – Walnut Creek, June 24

Cultures of the World – Cupertino, June 24

Native Plant and Pollinator Day – San Jose, June 24

Kids Carnival at Hiller Aviation Museum – San Carlos, June 25

Unique Derique – San Francisco, June 30

Fire Truck and Fire Safety Talk – San Francisco, June 30

Asteroid Day at Chabot Space and Science Center – Oakland, June 30

Marin County Fair – San Rafael, June 30 – July 4

Central Park Music Series – San Mateo, June 22, 29

Opera In The Park – Orinda, June 22

Summer Concert Cocktail Monkeys  - Cupertino, June 22

Classical on the Square - Redwood City

Brick Fest Live - San Mateo, June 24-25

Family Hike - Palo Alto, June 25

Summer Scamper - Stanford University, June 25

Summer on the Square: Big Band Jazz - Palo Alto, June 25

Summer Concert Snarky Cats – Cupertino, June 29

Reading books with your children has been shown to have many benefits. It can support cognitive development, improve language skills, and it is a great opportunity to bond with your child. Here are some current book favorites from members of the SMPC board. 

Three Little Engines by Bob McKinnon

“When ‘I think I can’ isn’t enough and understanding the challenges others face” - Adara Citron, President

We are Little Feminist Celebrations by Brook Sitgraves Turner

“It shows kids and families celebrating all sorts of different celebrations. It’s part of a board book series that focuses on highlighting and celebrating diversity” - Laura DeKelaita, Preschool Fair Coordinator

Chika Chika Boom Boomby Bill Martin, Jr. and John Archambault

“Crowd favorite is definitely singing the alphabet song at the end” - Jamie Giloni, Events

Goodnight Goodnight Construction Siteby Sherry Duskey Rinker

“A fun book about trucks getting ready for bed after a long hard day of work” - Celia Hamdamov, Events

Eyes that Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho

“I didn’t grow up with books that showed people who look like me, and it was incredibly meaningful to have my toddler point at the main character and say, ‘that’s me!’” - Linda Hui, Blog Editor

Eating the Alphabetby Lois Ehlert

“Has beautiful illustrations of fruits and veg for every letter. Broadens their awareness of all the options available - radicchio, artichoke, as well as the usual bananas and oranges” - Erin Livingston, Playgroups Coordinator

Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

“Shows to try food they might like” - Karolina Trofimov, Social Media

• Fantastical Flowers - Gilroy, May 1-31
• Veterinary Hospital Tours at the Oakland Zoo - Oakland, May 3, 6, 10, 13, 17, 20, 24, 27, 31
• Ruth Bancroft Garden Workshop Wednesday - Walnut Creek, May 3, 10, 17, 24, 31
• We Players Presents Adventures with Alice - San Francisco, May 4, 5, 11, 18,19
• Thomas & Friends: Explore the Rails Exhibit - San Jose, May 3-14
• Family Ping Pong Star Wars Night - Burlingame, May 5
• Cinco de Mayo Festival – San Francisco, May 5
• The Wind in the Willows by PYT – Mountain View, May 5, 6
• The Jungle Book by Playful People – San Jose, May 5-7
• Japantown Children's Day Festival - San Francisco, May 6
• MADSADGLAD at the San Francisco Symphony - San Francisco, May 6
• Home Depot Kids Workshop - Foster City, May 6 
• "All the Little Things" - EcoCenter Family Event - Palo Alto, May 6
• Hillside Festival – El Cerrito, May 6-7
• Bay Area Book Festival - Berkley, May 6-7
• Habitot Mobile Museum - Oakland, May 6
• Giraffes Can’t Dance - Berkley, May 6-7, 13-14, 20-21, 27-28
• San Jose Giants Fireworks – San Jose, May 5, 12
• Cinderella – San Jose, May 5-14
• Music for Families – San Francisco, May 6
• MakeArt Family Day – San Francisco, May 6
• Art Festival at Jack London Square – Alameda, May 6
• Storytime with Youth Science Institute – Los Gatos, May 6
• Words in the Wild Storytime – Oakland, May 6
• Character Tea Party – Hayward, May 6
• Urban Ed Academy SMART+ Saturday Program – San Francisco, May 6, 13, 20,
• Planetarium Shows for Kids – Cupertino, May 6, 13
• Big Bird's Adventure: One World, One Sky - Cupertino, May 6,13
• Pollinator Hike – Walnut Creek, May 7
• Family Day at Marin MOCA – Novato, May 7
• Woofstock at Marin Humane Society – Novato, May 7
• Free First Sunday at NUMU – Los Gatos, May 7
• Robin Hood by Fantasy Forum – Walnut Creek, May 11-14
• Stanford Pow Wow – Stanford, March 12-14
• Natural Science Days at Gilroy Gardens - Gilroy, May 12,19,26
• Brunch for the Wild Bunch at the Oakland Zoo - Oakland, May 13
• Blankets and Blockbusters – San Francisco, May 13
• Scout-O-Rama – San Jose, May 13
• Blankets & Blockbusters: A Mother’s Day Celebration - San Francisco, May 13
• Mother’s Day Tea Making Workshop – Oakland, May 13-14
• Kids Art Classes at Magical Bridge Playground - Redwood City, May 13,27
• Second Saturday at Gamble Garden - Palo Alto, May 13
• 30th Taiwanese American Cultural Festival - San Francisco, May 13
• Mother’s Day Brunch – Felton, May 14
• Marine Science Sunday – Sausalito, May 14, 28
• Contra Costa County Fair – Antioch, May 18-21
• UniverSoul Circus – Oakland, May 18-June 4
• Family Nature Walk - Los Altos, May 20
• Ronald McDonald Oakland House Opening & Community Block Party – Oakland, May 20
• Kids Night at the Museum – Santa Rosa, May 20
• Tinkerfest – Oakland, May 20
• Science Safari at Alum Rock Park – San Jose, May 20
• Sleeping Beauty by New Ballet – San Jose, May 20, 21
• Sunday Streets: Bayview – San Francisco, May 21
• Into The Woods at Mountain Playhouse – Mill Valley, May 21-June 18
• Becoming Robinhood – Berkeley, May 26-July 2
• Jurassic Quest - San Jose, May 26 - 29
• San Francisco Amateur Astronomers’ Star Parties – San Francisco, May 27
• 32nd Bay Area KidFest - Concord, May 27-29
• San Ramon Art & Wind Festival – San Ramon, May 28, 29
• 48th Annual Muir Beach Volunteer Firemen’s Barbecue – Muir Beach, May 29

Happy National Library Week! The theme for this year is “There’s More to the Story.” Our libraries don’t just have books, music, and movies for us to check out. Our libraries bring the community together through story times, classes, and lectures. In addition to free online access to newspapers and streaming films, the San Mateo Public Libraries offer the following free resources (some not available at all branches):

• Museum passes through Discover and Go

• 6 months of access to premium features of the Calm app

• Bicycle check-out (Book-a-Bike, must be 18 years or older)

• Printing time with 3D printers

• Use of laser cutters (must be 13 years or older)

• Use of virtual reality (VR) headsets (must be 13 years or older)

• Sewing machines (must be 18 years or older)

• Memory Labs, where you can digitize photos, VHS tapes, audio cassettes, etc

Some branches have Maker Spaces with different types of equipment available for you to use.

All of this is available for free, as long as you have a library card!

• Easter Bunny Photo H’Ops - San Mateo, April 1-2 and April 6-8
• Big Truck Day - Los Gatos, April 1
• OMG Family Festival – Milpitas, April 1
• Fun Run at the Boardwalk – Santa Cruz, April 1
• Easter Celebration at Jack London Square – Oakland, April 1
• Fun on the Farm – San Ramon, April 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
• Free Telescope Viewing at Chabot Space & Science Center – Oakland, April 1, 7, 8, 14, 15, 22, 22, 28, 29
• Planetarium Shows for Kids – Cupertino, April 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
• SF Chocolate Salon - San Francisco, April 2
• Holi Festival of Colors – Cupertino, April 2
• The Physics Show – Los Altos Hills, April 3
• Bright Horizons at San Mateo Open House - San Mateo, April 5
• Barnyard Friends - San Mateo, April 6
• Science Safari at Vasona Park – Los Gatos, April 8
• Storytime with Youth Science Institute – Los Gatos, April 8
• Urban Ed Academy SMART+ Saturday Program – San Francisco, April 8, 15, 22
• Eggstraordinary Easter Egg Hunt – Felton, April 8, 9
• Penguins and Pajamas Sleepover – San Francisco, April 14
• Habitot Mobile Children’s Museum – San Leandro, April 15
• Art for All Family Day – Stanford, April 16
• Pop Up Bug Museum - San Mateo, April 22
• Earth Day Celebration - Oakland, April 22
• Science Safari at Alum Rock Park – San Jose, April 22
• Love Our Earth Festival – Atherton, April 22
• Earth Day – Milpitas, April 22
• Kids Carnival at Hiller Aviation – San Carlos, April 23
• School House Rock Live – San Jose, April 27-30
• Into the Woods – Palo Alto, April 27-May 14
• Anne of Green Gables – April 28 & 29
• Kids Day - Santa Cruz, April 29
• San Francisco Kings Day, Dutch Festival – San Francisco, April 29
• The Princess and the Frog – Palo Alto, April 29, 30
• Dream Machines – Half Moon Bay, April 30
• Plant Sale & Craft Fair - San Mateo, April 30
• Israel@75 Bay Area Community Festival - San Mateo, April 30  

• First Friday Nights at Curiodyssey – San Mateo, March 3
• Telescope Viewing at Chabot Space & Science Center – Oakland, March 3-4, 10-11, 17-18, 24-25
• 2023 Magical Creatures - Anywhere. March 4 - April 30
• Flower Bulb Day - San Francisco (Union Square), March 4
• Storytime with Youth Science Institute – Los Gatos, March 4
• Family Nature Walks - Foothills Nature Preserve - Los Altos Hills, March 4
• Holi Festival – Milpitas, March 4
• Kid Makers: Trailblazing Women – Redwood City, March 4
• Science Festival – San Francisco, March 4
• Habitot Mobile Children’s Museum – Berkeley, March 4
• Urban Ed Academy SMART+ Saturday Program – San Francisco, March 4, 11, 18
• Science Safari at Sanborn Park – Saratoga, March 4, 11
• Planetarium Shows for Kids – Cupertino, March 4, 11, 18, 25
• Penguins and Pajamas Sleepover – San Francisco, March 4, 17
• Open Cockpit Day – Oakland, March 5
• Free First Sunday at NUMU – Los Gatos. March 5
• Snow White by Fantasy Forum – Walnut Creek, March 9-12
• Royal Ball - Burlingame, March 10
• Seussical by Pied Piper Players – San Mateo, March 10-19
• St. Patrick’s Day Parade – San Francisco, March 11
• The Lightning Thief by PYT – Mountain View, March 11-19
• Flying Leprechaun Skydive! – San Carlos, March 12
• Marine Science Sunday – Sausalito, March 12, 26
• Sowing Wonder - San Jose, March 15-29
• Monarch Migration – Walnut Creek, March 16
• PJCC Community Playdate - Foster City, March 19
• Music for Families – San Francisco, March 18
• CarrierCon on the USS Hornet – Alameda, March 18
• The Day You Begin – San Francisco, March 18, 19
• One Grain of Rice by Palo Alto Children’s Theater – Palo Alto, March 18, 19
• Straw Rocket Workshop - San Carlos, March 19 
• The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane – Mountain View, March 24, 25
• Boardwalk Fun Run – Santa Cruz, March 25
• Pollinator Hike – Walnut Creek, March 26

• Purchasing a home for the first time can be an exciting but overwhelming experience, especially in the Bay Area where the real estate market is known to be competitive and expensive. The good news is that the local market today is a lot more buyer friendly and presents good opportunities for families who are looking to buy a new home. Home prices are down from last spring. In our San Mateo County, single family homes’ median sales price is 21% lower in January compared to a year ago. The mortgage rates also have started to improve since last November. With lower rates, your ability to buy your gem home greatly improves. And we will see more homes becoming available for sale as the Spring season starts. That means right now is a sweet spot if you’re in a good position to buy.

  Here are some tips for first-time homebuyers in the Bay Area:

• 1.    Get your finances in order: Before you start house hunting, it’s essential to get your finances in order. You’ll need to have a good credit score, stable income, and a clear understanding of what you can afford. Work with a lender to get pre-approved for a mortgage and get a clear understanding of the costs involved in buying a home, such as closing costs, property taxes, and homeowner insurance.

• 2.    Start saving for a down payment: Start saving as early as possible to ensure you have enough money for the down payment, closing costs, and other expenses associated with homeownership. There are first-time home buyer assistance programs available, and you can purchase home with less than 20% down payment.

• 3.    Determine your priorities: Do you want a spacious backyard, a pool, or a convenient location close to your workplace? Before you start house hunting, make a list of your must-haves, your wants, and your deal-breakers. This will help you focus your search and make it easier to find the right home for you.

• 4.    Work with a real estate agent: A good real estate agent can help you navigate the competitive Bay Area real estate market, find the right home, and negotiate the best deal. They have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS), which is a database of homes for sale that only real estate agents can access. A good agent will also be able to help you understand the various neighborhoods in the Bay Area and find the one that’s right for you.

• 5.    Be prepared for a competitive market: The Bay Area is a competitive market, and homes can sell quickly. Be prepared to act fast when you find the right home. Be ready with a pre-approval letter, proof of funds for the down payment, and a contingency plan if the deal falls through.

• 6.    Don't be afraid to make an offer: In the Bay Area, many homes can be sold above the asking price, and it's not uncommon for homes to receive multiple offers. Don’t be afraid to make an offer, even if it’s above the asking price. Just be sure to work with your real estate agent to determine a fair offer that takes into account the current market conditions and the value of the home.

In conclusion, buying a home in the Bay Area can be a challenging and complex process, but with the right resources, preparation, and support, it is possible to become a homeowner in this sought-after region. To help you take advantage of the current market, I am kicking off a workshop series on homeownership and real estate investment with a group of experts. RSVP to our next workshop in San Mateo and you will automatically receive notifications of the related expert sessions and their recordings. Can you think of anyone who may also be looking for their gem home? Do share this invitation with your friends. And let us help you reach your homeownership dreams!

Empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s emotions and imagining what they might be thinking or feeling. It is a very complex skill to develop. Having empathy means that a child can do the following things:  

• Understand that they are their own person  
• Understand that others can think and feel differently  
• Recognize feelings that people can have: happiness, sadness, anger, etc  
• Are able to imagine how someone might feel in a particular situation  
• Can imagine what response would be comforting and appropriate  

What You Can Do to Help Toddlers Develop Empathy  

• Empathize with your child: For example, “Are you feeling scared of that dog? He is barking loud. That can be scary. I can hold your hand until he walks away.”  
• Talk about others’ feelings: For example, “Joe is sad because you took his toy. Please give him back his toy and you can choose another toy to play with.”  
• Suggest how they can show empathy: “Ashley is sad because she got a booboo. Let’s get her some ice for her booboo.”  
• Read books about feelings: Some suggestions include:  
• • Find Out About Feelings by Pat-a-Cake  
  • Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang  
  • Happy Hippo, Angry Duck by Sandra Boynton  
  • My Friend is Sad by Mo Willems  
  • The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas  
• Be a role model: When you interact with others in a kind and caring way, your child learns from your example  
• Validate your child’s difficult emotions: When our child feels sad or angry, we often rush to try and fix it right away. While this comes from an instinct to protect our children from pain, these feelings are a part of life that children need to learn to cope with. Identifying and validating these feelings helps children learn how to handle them. It can also help children learn how to empathize with others who are feeling these emotions.  
• Use pretend play: For example, you may have your child’s toy hippo say he doesn’t want to share with his friend, the cow. Ask your child: How do you think the cow feels? What should we tell the hippo?  
• Think through the use of “I’m sorry:”We often insist our children say “I’m sorry” as a way for them to take responsibility for their actions. But many young children don’t fully understand what “I’m sorry” means. While it may feel right to have them apologize, it doesn’t necessarily help them learn empathy. It may be more helpful to help children focus on the other person’s feelings and what actions we can take to comfort them.  
• Be patient: Developing empathy takes time! It’s a complex skill and will continue to develop across your child’s life.  

Adapted from “How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy.” 

Hello, Parents!

I am so excited for this next year of San Mateo Parents Club. The Board is in transition as board members who have served many, many terms step away and a new group of parents are taking on these exciting roles. This Club has been lucky to have such dedicated board members, many of whom have been on the Board for 5+ years! This includes outgoing President Rachel Kammeyer, Vice President Kathleen Lam, Membership Coordinator Christelle Hurstel, and Webmaster Stella Hwang. We are indebted to them and many others.

My name is Adara Citron and I’m stepping in as the next President. I have two children, Evan (age 4) and Mara (age 2), live in San Mateo, and work full time as a health policy analyst. I have been a member of SMPC since 2019, took on the role of Playgroups Leader for the Kuddly Koalas playgroup (now merged with Baby Sharks) in 2020, and joined the Board in 2021 as Playgroups Coordinator. In this role, I also started the Parent Pairings program and am happy to be passing those roles on to Erin Livingston. I’m looking forward to this new challenge as President!

Caption: From left, Mara, Josh, Evan, and Adara (taken during the fall photo fundraiser!)

One of the best parts of being in SMPC and on the Board is getting to know so many families in our community. My husband often teases me because one of my missions in my adult life has been to find my community, wherever I am living. When we moved back home to the Bay Area in 2016, one of my first activities was to find adult friends. Sadly, that really didn’t happen for me until I had my older son and met many other amazing parents through prenatal care and SMPC. But now, I go to as many SMPC events as possible, attend the book clubs, and run into people wherever I go in San Mateo. I love that another parent will walk up to my family at Barnes and Nobles to say “hi”, even when I’m not there!

If you’re interested in getting more involved in the Club, please reach out to me! We have a great group of 15 board members so far, but the more people who join, the more we are able to spread around the tasks. If you have one hour per month to share with us, we would be ever so grateful for the assistance. A list of open positions is on our website, including roles of Vice President (aka my right hand person – gotta love the team work!), blog co-editor, membership, fundraising (2-3 events per year), community service coordinator, and preschool fair committee member. There is also never a bad time to join the Board. If you’re too busy now but have more time in a few months, let me know.

Caption: From left, Michelle Carothers, Adara Citron, and Jamie Caplan Giloni (two returning events board members)

Lastly, I want to extend a heartfelt welcome to those of you joining from Foster City Parents Club. While we’re sad FCPC is dissolving, we are ecstatic to have more community members in our ranks.  I would especially love for parents from Foster City to join our Board, helping to ensure this is a welcoming and accessible community for all.

I am looking forward to getting to know so many of you over the next year! Don’t be a stranger if you see me around!

Warmly,

Adara